What happens when the things that you thought were the constants in your life start to change in ways that you thought unfathomable before? And the things that you had written off and given up on suddenly come back with a bang and become glaringly relevant? We’ve been told things change and blah blah blah but there are always some things you count on to never change. Some things that you define your life by. Things that have made you the person that you are. If those things are no longer true then is everything you believe in a lie? Who are you? Is it okay to continue to base your beliefs upon things that have been proved wrong right in front of your eyes? Is that just being plain stupid? Or is it being hopeful?
Am I supposed to revamp my entire belief system just because circumstances change and some people let me down? Maybe it is time to change because maybe I’m letting some people down too. Maybe the problem is that I haven’t changed. Or changed in ways that aren’t apparent to me as yet. The thing that pisses me off is why one is thrown into turmoil just as things are setting into a nice comfortable rhythm? Why are we constantly being tested? Is it so that we can prove that we deserve the good things in life? But if we’re constantly proving ourselves when are we going to enjoy the good stuff, hah? Ufff... all is I know is that I didn’t need such a long holiday. I should not be left alone with my thoughts. Sanyal and I already established that fact!